It is an honor to be asked to speak with you - when first asked I was catapulted into "WHO ME. " Then I thought of all our teenagers who get up here - and was especially inspired - so here I am! I'm in process- and my being asked to speak here today is germane to that process - even how I see myself relating to the topic of Nurturing Multiculturalism catches the light of my awareness on different facets, as external and internal events play out. Thanks to this community for helping me break through old conditioning of only speaking when you have the answers, and teaching me the value of being in process, of sorting it out, of turning it over, of looking at it and risking sharing ideas before I have the answers, of knowing I am with fellow God-wrestlers.
The events of last week have been sobering and horrific for me - I know I'm not alone. At the joint service with Northbrae Community Church last Wednesday, some subtleties emerged as being profound for me. The first thing I noticed was a cross on the altar with the menorah. I would never have guessed that having the cross of my childhood sitting along side the menorah of my present would have such a soothing effect in that time of turmoil. I realize that that soothing symbol may be a frightening one for others who were there. Because of that service I decided to identify myself as a Presbyterian by birth - this is big...it calls up present images of Protestant adults in Belfast terrorizing Catholic children as they try to get into school, as well as much older historical images, the sounds of which whisper in my ear and churn my gut. I decided to share this because I would guess I am not alone. These feelings may relate to anyone who wants to be an ally - who wants to travel with, but who was born with a different label.
How do all of us answer the highest calling of our own spiritual voice, and not get stopped by the guilt of acts perpetuated in the past and being perpetuated in the name of these labels even as we pray today? How are we encouraging each of us to bring all of our diversities to this community? This is not about crosses at Kehilla, this is about making a space open enough for people to grapple with all their spiritual issues, and to know that we as a very special Jewish community are strong enough to hold all of us as we wrestle.
As our Muslim sisters and brothers and their children are being vilified by some, I would like to share a poem by Rumi, an Islamic Sufi who lived in the 12th century.
"Define and narrow me, you starve yourself of yourself. Nail me down in a box of cold words, that box is your coffin. I do not know who I am. I am in astounding lucid confusion. I am not a Christian, I am not a Jew, I am not a Zoroastrian, and I am not even a Muslim. I do not belong to the land, or to any known or unknown sea. Nature cannot own or claim me, nor can heaven, nor can India, China, Bulgaria. My birthplace is placelessness. My sign to have and give no sign. You say you see my mouth, ears, eyes, nose-they are not mine. I am the life of life. I am that cat, this stone, noone. I have thrown duality away like an old dishrag. I see and know all times and worlds. As one, one, always one. So what do I have to do to get you to admit who is speaking? Admit it and change everything! This is your own voice echoing off the walls of God."
I have been accompanying my partner to Jewish services for over 20 years. With the birth of our son we chose to have our family spiritual base be Jewish. Only since joining Kehilla four years ago have I felt the Jewish path opening to me personally. Kehilla envelopes me in the spirit of "shalom". It is a springboard for strengthening my spiritual work. In some ways, it is easier for me to be with the Mystery, because just as soon as I have the tune for a song, whap, it gets changed, or I get lost in flipping back and forth in the siddur trying to find my place.
Rabbi Burt's original call to prospective members set the intention for Kehilla to be inclusive. Let me tell you how I have experienced that being lived out. During our very first meeting with Rabbi Zari we were talking about our son's Jewish education. I was doing my silent, supportive, partner of the Jewish parent. In response to a question from Rabbi Zari, I said I let G make the Jewish decisions. She reminded me that I was 50% his parent and needed to be fully involved in these decisions! My heart opened - the scared part of me, preoccupied with not doing anything wrong, was given encouragement to be fully present.
As part of being new Kehilla members, we were encouraged to join a neighborhood havarah. Our El Cerrito havarah has been support for us as a family and as individuals in times of of trouble and times of joy. It was Bonnie who referred to me as "not born Jewish" - that little shift from "non-Jew" helped me feel more comfortable walking on the Jewish path with my family. Bar/Bat Mitzvah families also are part of a special havarah during the year of intense preparation. Both our havurot have diversity of spiritual backgrounds and family structures represented - all of which are honored. Thanks to all of you for welcoming me into the heart of Kehilla.
The Kehilla School was wonderful for Lucky and for us as a family. We were supported at every step of his moving toward becoming a Bar Mitzvah. Our first meeting about the Bat/Bar mitzvah program was so telling in how Kehilla empowers our kids. The question of whether or not non-Jewish parents would be able to hand down the Torah came up. It was clear that there was disagreement and that a decision had not been made. I have to say I was devastated - - I had put a great deal of thought into encouraging him to become a bar mitzvah - and now I felt so "otherfied". On the way home Lucky said "Don't worry Mom, it's my bar mitzvah - you'll pass the Torah!' The passing of the Torah from generation to generation is very moving for me - I always cry. At Lucky's bar mitzvah when G's mother Lore passed me the Torah - the look she gave me melts my heart every time I remember it and I do - often. I thank all of you who grappled or are still grappling with the difficult decision about who can pass the Torah and know it may still be a stretch for some of you - thank you from the bottom of my heart - it continues to mean a lot to me and my family.
The most obvious inclusion is of course, asking me to speak today. After saying I would, I called up to Lucky and said "Guess who is giving a sermon at Rosh Hoshana?" He said, "Mom?" meaning G. I said, "No I am", and he said "YOU?" then - "Cool!" What a clear message to a kid and to his family that we are inclusive at Kehilla, that we are pushing our boundaries. And I believe because of that value we are supporting our multispiritual families in their Jewish base. To all of you who have come up to me saying how glad you were to hear I was going to speak - thanks. At Kehilla, I feel encouraged, not just tolerated. .
This sharing from my heart gives you a view from my vantage point . It has given me the opportunity to stand behind the spiritual guardrail feeling safe, and to risk going much, much deeper into my own experience of being one of the "multis" in multiculturalism in this community. I've thought a lot about labels and symbols that hold us together, give us comfort, but can lock others out, and maybe even strike terror into their hearts. I have no answers, but I hope my sharing some of my experiences and the associations from those experiences will help you decide whether or not Kehilla is hitting the mark you want it to hit in nurturing multiculturalism.