Family Involvement  

Community

If we want to have a community, we need to actively create it. We can create it by weaving it ourselves, one interaction, one new relationship at a time. We can visualize our actions as being threads between ourselves and others. Many interwoven threads can create a beautiful tapestry.
This kind of connection, this tapestry, helps to keep balance in our crazy, scary world. It provides a secure place for healing and helps sustain us in difficult times.

Kehilla Shabbat Services

Students and families who attend services on a regular basis feel more a part of the Kehilla community, and are able to appreciate the special meaning of the Shabbat prayers and service. It is therefore required that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student and his/her family will attend and participate in at least 5 Shabbat and at least 4 other holiday services throughout the year. In the spirit of learning and experimentation, students and families are also encouraged to attend services at other congregations.

Many Bar/Bat Mitzvah families have the impression that the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is a family service, and attendance is primarily for the family of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah child. Often, they feel that attending/participating in “someone else’s Bar/Bat Mizvah” is an intrusion. The truth is actually quite the opposite. The Shabbat morning service is a service for the entire community in which the child is called to the Torah in front of the entire community. Many community members attend regularly and use this time as a space of prayer and reflection, and they will be participating throughout the service. The more community members who attend Shabbat morning services, the more lively and spirit-full they become. Therefore, you really are encouraged to take the opportunity to attend as many Shabbat morning services as you can. This will enrich your own experience, enliven your thinking about your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah service, and will enrich the service of other Bar/Bat Mitzvah families.

While Shabbat services are often seen as yet another errand, given all the baseball, soccer, tutoring and other shlepping parents do, or a welcome break to just drop the kids off and have some alone time, consider taking this time to explore your own commitment to Jewish life. You will feel more a part of the community, which is celebrating your son or daughter’s rite of passage. Through this ritual, your child is being welcomed into the Kehilla community as an adult; it will be gratifying to your son or daughter to see that you, too, are part of this community.

The Bar/Bat Mitzvah Chavurah

A chavurah is a group of 3-6 families that gather monthly or bi-monthly for Shabbat and holidays and to support each other in the Bar/Bat mitzvah year and beyond. Chavurot are encouraged to meet at times when regular Kehilla services are not scheduled. They serve to foster the important continuity between the student’s classroom studies and their Jewish home practice. Parents have found the camaraderie extremely helpful in supporting each other and their children through the Bar/Bat mitzvah year. Gatherings are planned by the families with some guidance from the Bar/Bat Mitzvah staff. It is the aim of Kehilla to foster a sense of community and bonding among the families through regular meetings of each chavurah.

Nuts and Bolts Workshops

In the fall, parents who have gone through the program will hold a workshop to share their experiences and help you sort through some of the details. This will include strategies for hosting such a big event, and information about party planning.

Parent-Student Workshops

Workshops are scheduled November through March. Currently the topics are Tzedakah, Spirituality, and Jewish Renewal prayer. There is also a Friday night Family Shabbat celebration and a model Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service. Attendance at all workshops is required for every student and at least one parent.

Spiritual Direction

It is common for parents of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah to also experience a yearning to explore their relationship with their spirituality and their relationship with Judaism, or other faith tradition.

We are lucky at Kehilla to have several people trained in Spiritual Direction who offer you a session to help you focus on your relationship with your spiritual life during this exciting, awesome, and sometimes trying time.

Whether you are Jewish or not, we invite you to take this time to explore your spiritual needs. Exploring your relationship with your spirituality can take many forms. The goal of a Spiritual Direction session is to explore your own relationship with the spirituality that you want or have in your life. (A specific belief system is not required.)

Rabbi Burt Jacobson, Laine Barbanell Schipper, Rabbi Chaya Gusfield, and Susan Schulman are available for one session free of charge to help you shine a light on your relationship with your spiritual life. Most sessions last about one hour. You can contact them as follows:
Rabbi Burt: RabBurt@earthlink.net or 843-6558
Laine Barbanell Schipper: Lost-Arts@SBCglobal.net or 415/239-2725
Rabbi Chaya Gusfield: gusfield@comcast.net or 653-3724
Susan Schulman: sjs444@sbcglobal.net or 547-3602

Service to the Community (Avodah)

Your contributions to Kehilla and to this program are essential in keeping it functioning. The minimum 10 hours of service tot he community per year, which are part of the membership agreement, may be fulfilled by helping with Bar/Bat Mitzvah program administration, helping to plan an event, or by serving on one or more of Kehilla’s various committees. You may offer your time to the staff, or on occasion, someone from the Kehilla office administration may ask you to help out.